Saturday, May 12, 2012

Pseudonym.

Someone asked me the other day: "what is a pseudonym?"

I told them that it is a type of cold medicine.

Okay, they said to me.

Okay.


Friday, May 11, 2012

Irony Ousting Itself from the World

Irony lobbies to have itself removed from the English language altogether.

In a plot twist likened to the works of Palahniuk, the word irony has ironically filed an injunction, furthering its steps for having itself eradicated from the English language.

"Not since the likes of Rowe vs. Wade have I seen such a driven force" stated the Judge at the proceeding prior to the courts dismissal.

"It all started with that stupid song," Irony replied, "and now there are the Hipsters? Just let me die in peace!"

Noah Webster, as being channeled through a psychic stated: "We [at] Meriam-Webster are in full support of Ironies plight, irony is a word that no one even knows the definition for anymore - I mean, Jesus! Does anybody even pick up a dictionary anymore? Henceforth attempt learning how to spell correctly?

Irony's first disflavor for itself occurred in 1996 with Alanis Morisettes single "Ironic".

"There is nothing even remotely ironic ever mentioned in that song" he said, "it's just a whole bunch of shit, nothing but a series of unfortunate events."

This is true.

The proverbial nail in the coffin was born down in SoHo with the uprising of the downfall, otherwise known as Hipsters.

According to hipster code, which apparently doesn't exist, there are a multitude of ironic symbols in their culture.

Mustaches, T-shirts, hairstyles and shoes, for example, must all be of an ironic tone - which according to irony is not ironic at all, only stupid.

This isn't a suicide mission, or a cry for attention, this is the real deal.  Expect a world soon where nothing is ironic because it can't be - a sad world indeed, yes I really do think.


Friday, May 4, 2012

More Ironic Than Ironic

Can something be "a little too ironic"?

To my mind, it either is or it isn't. 

There is no middle ground.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

Irony Defined...Seriously, this is the definition according to Webster


iro·ny

 noun \ˈī-rə-nē also ˈī(-ə)r-nē\
1: a pretense of ignorance and of willingness to learn from another assumed in order to make the other's false conceptions conspicuous by adroit questioning - called also Socratic irony


2 a: the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning


b: a usually humorous or sardonic literary style or form characterized by irony


c: an ironic expression or utterance


3 a: (1) incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2): an event or result marked by such incongruity.


b: incongruity between a situation developed in a drama and the accompanying words or actions that is understood by the audience but not by the characters in the play  - called also dramatic irony, tragic irony. 


SO QUIT FUCKING IT UP!