Someone asked me the other day: "what is a pseudonym?"
I told them that it is a type of cold medicine.
Okay, they said to me.
Okay.
Irony lobbies to have itself removed from the English language altogether.
In a plot twist likened to the works of Palahniuk, the word irony has ironically filed an injunction, furthering its steps for having itself eradicated from the English language.
"Not since the likes of Rowe vs. Wade have I seen such a driven force" stated the Judge at the proceeding prior to the courts dismissal.
"It all started with that stupid song," Irony replied, "and now there are the Hipsters? Just let me die in peace!"
Noah Webster, as being channeled through a psychic stated: "We [at] Meriam-Webster are in full support of Ironies plight, irony is a word that no one even knows the definition for anymore - I mean, Jesus! Does anybody even pick up a dictionary anymore? Henceforth attempt learning how to spell correctly?
Irony's first disflavor for itself occurred in 1996 with Alanis Morisettes single "Ironic".
"There is nothing even remotely ironic ever mentioned in that song" he said, "it's just a whole bunch of shit, nothing but a series of unfortunate events."
This is true.
The proverbial nail in the coffin was born down in SoHo with the uprising of the downfall, otherwise known as Hipsters.
According to hipster code, which apparently doesn't exist, there are a multitude of ironic symbols in their culture.
Mustaches, T-shirts, hairstyles and shoes, for example, must all be of an ironic tone - which according to irony is not ironic at all, only stupid.
This isn't a suicide mission, or a cry for attention, this is the real deal. Expect a world soon where nothing is ironic because it can't be - a sad world indeed, yes I really do think.
